Silent e

With all my heart, written with

An open wish

Of love and happiness

To my sis.

You are the warmth of promise brightly lit

With words of writing your expressive gift.

When I think of you, I see

So much personality

Dressed with charm and intelligence.

Your witty words, with engaging quips,

Keep me listening for the next twist.

With this final thought:

I simply love you, a lot.

-Austin

Cole:
Writing you, brother.
Would you borrow tomorrow
And become worlds away?
Or fill today
With these words I’m about to say?
What we have
Isn’t just a mom and dad,
We have brother
Love for one another.
With all my memories
Shiny and glimmering
With value and respect,
I would like to collect
And never forget
The moments we’ve shared,
All the times you’ve cared.
But when brothers would write with
Words to reminisce,
We can never wonder. Did I ever say this?
I love you.
Written so it’s never expired,
Wondered, or born of necessity.
Written from me,
Wondering
boyishly,
Well, could it possibly be
That you and me
Are the best part
of a family?
Love abruptly.
These words are because
I know you can’t get enough of me.

Your brother,
Austin

We were a family, with all but my brothers Jack and Cole, hiking a mountain in Kauai called Sleeping Giant. When I heard we were going to hike, all of us, even me, I was so excited. But then I was wondering if I would become too exhausted, borrowing strength where there was none. Writing about this now, I realize that’s exactly what I did. We walked up a mountain and we pushed ourselves. Would we make it to the top? Would I make it to the top?

I always wondered why people would want to climb a mountain. I wasn’t sure this was something I could do. I had hiked before but not like this. We had wonderful short hikes and great times with those. One time, though, I became very exhausted, which I still vividly remembered. Would this hike be like that? 

When we discussed this trail I was told that I could stop at any time to rest or to wait for everyone else to complete the hike, at any place, whenever I wanted. Encouragement was offered but I was also given realistic descriptions about this mountain, so I wouldn’t feel this was something that I had to do, but could choose to do. Because the power often is not there for me like it is for others, that gave me so much confidence.

With our snacks and Camelbacks full of water, we positioned ourselves at the trailhead. We began briskly walking up the mountain, winding back and forth with a steep incline through the trees. The path was often boldly mocking me, a blind man, trying to navigate with one hand on my hiking pole and the other on my dad’s shoulder. Walking, tripping, and falling into my dad, each step I took was a victory. My hiking pole was extra security. It allowed me to ask questions and get answers, which helped to ease my worries, while I put my trust in my dad to keep me safe. He and my mom did their best, but I did fall off the trail twice. We were all learning each step I took. 

Looking around would not help me in this unfamiliar and unpredictable environment. While walking, bright and wonderful things will pop into my limited sight, causing disabling distraction and confusion for me. But when I’m in a familiar place I can make sense of those things. While everyone else enjoyed the views, the beauty found on this mountain was perspective for me. I would like to see what they saw but I don’t lack beauty from my experience. Borrowing strength through worth, love, and words of praise, I was able to walk on with my dad. The cool breezes, warm sunlight, and occasional rain were welcomed variations while I clumsily worked my way to the top. We walked until we came to an opening. 

I was told there was an obstacle. We stopped and discussed what would be the best way for me to climb this solid ten-foot rock wall. Looking around I saw bright possibilities. Looking ahead I felt a cold, hard, rock wall. An impenetrable wall. Walls are meant to keep things out but this wall was not built by man. This wall was God’s, and we were going to climb it. 

When I touched the rock wall, wondering what it smelled like, I brought my hand to my nose. It smelled like dirt but felt like a challenge. But what was probably unusual about that brief moment was my desire to take on that challenge so quickly that others were caught by surprise and asked me to slow down. It felt like something I already believed I could do. I placed my hands where I could secure my grip, working my way up through touch, while my dad guided with directions and each foot placement. We made it to the top of that wall, where I sat a few feet away and rested while taking in the wonder of my accomplishment. As I sat people who had so patiently waited began to pass by me. They were so kind with their words of praise. One guy even said I was “badass”, which was possibly more memorable than anything I have ever been told before. Looking around, loud and clear, I saw a future for me and two more miles to the top of Sleeping Giant. 

When I brought writing words for communication into my life, well, people started to understand that words were just hidden behind lips that wouldn’t express. But because my writing could be slow, musings would often be left without any opportunity to ask or discuss questions I had. “Blood is thicker than water”, for example. What? Well, being the inquisitive wordless person that I am, I tried to understand what this might mean. I now know, bright as the sun in my eyes, that it’s a love like we only feel from our family. Whether we share blood or would otherwise not know each other, though, does not seem to be as important as the saying would lead you to believe. Sometimes words coming from strangers can feel like the love of a brother, when they become words spoken out of a bond created, in a moment of respect, for who I am. I would find my strength begin to increase in moments like this. Bringing worth to me beyond what my family expresses, I know they love me, but this was a beautiful gift when strangers saw me as an abled human and shared a bit of love. I am wondering, would they be as kind, would they be as proud, had they known me as a child? Would they love the words I write? Would they realize how much their words would strengthen me?

We did make it to the top. We sat at a table enjoying a snack, water, and the love of a family sharing this incredible mountain. I pushed with all my strength up that rock wall. I realized later that this was the first time I’d been able to pursue a goal and complete it in one day. We climbed portraying what challenge was for each of us. The Sleeping Giant of Kauai may still be resting, but the Giant lives awakened inside of me. 

Would we blindly trust,

With someone we love,

To bring us up

Looking with bliss

To the one true gift?

This Christmas

We can wish and wish

For beginnings and lists,

But will we believe,

Look, and receive

The one gift

not found under the tree?

I plan to see,

beginning with this:

We are all promised words of love,

The one true gift

who is God above.

I will begin this,

Without any wish or lists,

With our love and His wish.

We are worthy because we are His.

I just wanted to tell you, when you ask for my list,

It’s short

and it reads like this:

There are people who we need to feed.

They don’t have homes like you and me.

They are brothers and sisters,

Wives and misters.

We can give them socks

to heal their blisters.

But every day they pray.

We don’t know the words they say

Because we haven’t listened.

With you and me

They can receive

a gift with our wishes brought from their lists.

And people can see

Love not found

under a tree

When we care

for the least of these.

This is my list,

and I wish you all a Merry Christmas .

Treasure starts inside the heart.

But words have never lost their part!

Would you come and see?

Help free words residing inside of me?

Woken with writing, my special gift.

How could words have weariness?

Would words wander?

Would they wish?

Could they escape with unbroken lips?

Words written won’t be missed.

Words won’t always bring happiness,

But words whether spoken or well writ

Should always be handled like God’s gift,

Used for worthy worldy blisss

And delivered like a mother’s kiss.

Looking words in the mouth,

We could write or we could talk.

Would we upend or mend?

We can choose the words we use.

But while treasure starts inside the heart,

Words have never lost their part.

Bees move like lightning

Filling up the sky

Having little friends

Fluttering lovingly up high

Moving, buzzing, gliding

Being beautiful like queens

Rushing, chasing, spying

Going where they please

If near, quick, start to run

Bolt, run, rush

Hovering wildly in the sun

Hi serious art lovers,

Art borrows portraits from life and lets us create our own representation while pursuing a love of learning something new. Before I asked to learn to draw a lot of people wondered what I saw. Art is first a way for me to express myself without words, but also passes on bold answers, to questions about what I see. Adriana patiently has taught me how to get what I see on paper.

I probably will wonder all my life what is so different about what I see, but art accepts what our perceptions are, and embraces them as opportunity. Our world is a much brighter place with art.

Angels and memories 

On a warm summer scene

A borrowed open sea

Straight out of a dream

A boy and a tree

A moment of ago

Too perfect to be

Port of cares carry with thee

A piece of that memory

August Angels watching over me

Who told you owed poor ole me?

Worry not you majestic beasts

One quiet boy couldn’t bring so much need

Wonder often

Only one who sees? 

About a world owed.

World would you glide

With open arms borrowed

And worn on

A wonder and a wish?

A beautiful soul writing

A world such as this

A wobbly-eyed guy

Wrought with wordless lips

A simple gift.

Would you carry my best possible words

On Angel’s wings and

Boldly give a hug and a kiss

To both my grandmas who I dearly miss?

May they know words unspoken,

Borrowed calm owed,

God’s eternal bliss,

A wonder and a wealth.

Our courage our continuing list

Of a word for a love such as this,

Coming from a grandson

With a silent wish.

Wake my soul with wisdom inspired by the wealth of God’s quiet presence in these mountains.

When I step I have wishes granted and dreams are born.

Writing my own path I am looking towards an exciting future with adventures.

Looking on this bright horizon I am,

Wanting so rare a silent word that could say as much as today wandering on this mountain did for me.

Courage attuned and silence graciously embraced.

Real presence you quietly breathe.